01. You have at least one relative who wore a black dress every day for an entire year after a funeral.
02. You spent your entire childhood thinking what you ate for lunch was pronounced 'sangwich.'
03. Your family dog understood commands in Italian.
04. Every Sunday afternoon of your childhood was spent visiting your grandparents and extended family.
05. You've experienced the phenomena of 150 people fitting into 50 square feet of yard during a family cookout.
06. You were surprised to discover the FDA recommends you eat only three meals a day, not seven.
07. You thought killing the pig each year and having salami, capacollo, pancetta and prosciutto hanging out to dry from your shed ceiling was absolutely normal. (Wow, now that's really Italian!)
08. You ate pasta with gravy for dinner at least three times a week, and every Sunday, laughed at the commercial for Wednesday is Prince Spaghetti day.
09. You grew up thinking no fruit or vegetable had a fixed price and that the price of everything was negotiable through haggling.
10.. You were as tall as your grandmother by the age of seven.
11. You thought everyone's last name ended in a vowel.
12. You thought nylons were supposed to be worn rolled to the ankles.
13. Your mom's main hobby is cooking and cleaning.
14. You were surprised to find out that wine was actually sold in stores.
15. You thought that everyone made their own tomato gravy (sauce).
16. You never ate meat on Christmas Eve or any Friday for that matter; just fish.
17. You ate your salad AFTER the main course.
18. You thought Catholic was the only religion in the world.
19. You were beaten at least once with a wooden spoon, spatula or broom.
20. You thought every meal had to be eaten with a hunk of bread in your hand
21. You can understand Italian but you can't speak it.
22. You have at least one relative who came over on the boat and lives in Jersey.
23. All of your uncles fought in a World War.
24. You have at least six male relatives named Tony, Frank, Joe or Vincent.
25. You have lots of relatives who aren't really your relatives at all.
26. You have relatives you don't speak to. Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!
27. You drank wine before you were a teenager.
28. You relate on some level, admit it, to the Godfather and the Sopranos. I maka a meata ball you can't refuse! . . Forrgetttabbboutit! Badda bing!
29. You grew up in a house with a yard that didn't have one patch of dirt that didn't have a flower or a vegetable growing out of it.
30. Your grandparent's furniture was as comfortable as sitting on plastic. Wait!!!! You were sitting on plastic.
31. You thought that talking loud and waving your hands was normal.
32. You thought sugared almonds and the Tarantella were common at all weddings .
33. You thought everyone got pinched on the cheeks and had money stuffed in their pockets by their relatives.
34. Your mother is overly protective of the males in the family no matter what their age.
35. There was a crucifix in every room of the apartment or house and every family had a relative, regardless how distant, who was a man of the cloth (Priest).
36. Wakes would be held in someone's living room.
37. You couldn't date a boy without getting approval from your father. (Oh, and your date HAD to be Italian.)
38. You called all pasta 'macaroni'.
39. You dreaded taking out your lunch at school.
40. Going out for a cup of coffee usually meant going out for a cup of coffee over Zia's house.
41. Every condition, ailment, accident misfortune, memory loss, ache and pain was attributed to the fact that you DIDN'T EAT enough of something.
42. Those of you who get this, kapiche . . . YOU KNOW who to pass it on to!
Gia, Ain't that the truth. I already posted this in the "Epigrams & Quotes" section of the forum under "How You Know If You Are An Italian" back on March 7th of this year. I will also leave it up for a little while here in case others didn't see it in the other section 2 months ago.
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To Believe In Legal Immigration And Not Illegal Immigration Does Not Make One A Racist (Quote: Lou Dobbs CNN)
Gia,